Hi everyone. i have a guest blogger and the following post is her first on my blog. she would like to remain anonymous (but we'll think up a name for her later). i thoroughly enjoyed reading this fierce article from her and i hope you will too. enjoy and please leave comments.
It is universally accepted that relationships are hard, it is also universally accepted that relationships in big cities are hard. This is a fact that I never realized. Yes I live in Lagos, which some may say is a big city and I do find relationships and all they entail to be relatively difficult but I hadn’t noticed a trend or a reason behind this difficulty. Having read an article about dating in some other big cities, namely New York, London and Boston, it appears that a number of people share the opinion that dating in big cities is hard. In fact, an article I read previously was of the opinion that dating is hard because big cities “spoil” their men. I looked into this phenomenon further. Men living in big cities are totally spoilt for choice. In addition to the above, I recently read that there are approximately 13 women to one man in little city of Lagos. This figure spans all classes and ages. That’s A HELL OF A LOT OF WOMEN!!!!!!!! No wonder men are spoilt for choice here.
We, as well educated Nigerian women work, look after our men, have sex with them, cook for them, clean up after them, entertain them and generally run around after them making them feel like little cuddled babies and our men provide us with nice homes to live in and Chanel bags and Louboutin shoes (not being funny dudes, I work, I can afford these myself). This is, however, potentially an ok exchange. It is a long established tradition, men bring the money and women bring the babies. The problem arises because of these niggling thirteen women to one man issue. Why would a man, who we have established is already spoiled by their city, their choices, their opportunities and their partners stop at just one woman. Potentially they can have 13!!!!! So cheating on one’s partner arises and here in Lagos, boy does it arise! It’s something we see every day, a fat, middle aged man with jeans two sizes too tight rocking up to the Lagos hot spots with a young, nubile half naked chick on his arm amidst the whispers of “but that’s not his wife sha”. As this is happening the women in this country turn a blind eye, it’s accepted and almost expected.
Yeah I see things a little differently. My view on cheating is simple. If you would like to be with me, then be with me, when u make the decision to drop your pants for some other women, then you have made the decision to no longer be with me. Cheating is wrong, simple as that. It’s rude and its ridiculously childish. What’s even worse is the fact that so many men don’t even try to hide the cheating. They are humiliating their wives and partners by parading these little dirty girlies in the face of everyone in Lagos. Nigerian men who feel they have an entitlement to sleep with as many women as they feel like regardless of their relationship status are pigs, simple as that (and u know what pigs eat don’t you). The emergence of this state of affairs is rife and has spread through our society like a cancer.
Here’s a radical new idea, just don’t f*****g cheat. Look at this article as a call to arms. It’s a call to arms for all my Nigerian brothers. STOP THIS MADNESS. Choose a woman, look after HER, appreciate HER and make HER feel loved. It’s up to this younger generation of men to stop the spiraling of our society into a pit of bile. Marriage as an institution has to mean something. There’s nothing cool about cheating, it doesn’t make you a big man, it makes you a loser. The men you see with their tight t-shirts, declining muscle definition and obviously mid-life crisis sports cars aren’t cute and they are not attractive. That’s where you’re all headed in a couple of years boys. Forget what was ok for our fathers and fore-fathers, make a choice and stick to it. Men of this City and Country, cheating does not make you a man, so let me leave you with this one instruction- MAN-UP!