Time to grow

Insert the lyrics of Time to Grow by Lemar here.

That will be all.

Actually no, there's more to be said.

But let's leave it at that, shall we.

WEDDING PICTURES...as promised :)

i just remembered that i promised to load up pictures of my younger sister's (Dolabomi) wedding 2 posts ago.
apologies in advance to everyone that i nicked their photos, don't worry, it is still your copyright.

so the official wedding photos are not out and so the pictures below do not tell the story of walking down the aisle to saying vows and all that sequential stuff...they are just snippets of different moments that relate to the wedding.

enjoy!

A CALL TO ARMS BROTHERS!

Hi everyone. i have a guest blogger and the following post is her first on my blog. she would like to remain anonymous (but we'll think up a name for her later). i thoroughly enjoyed reading this fierce article from her and i hope you will too. enjoy and please leave comments.

It is universally accepted that relationships are hard, it is also universally accepted that relationships in big cities are hard. This is a fact that I never realized. Yes I live in Lagos, which some may say is a big city and I do find relationships and all they entail to be relatively difficult but I hadn’t noticed a trend or a reason behind this difficulty. Having read an article about dating in some other big cities, namely New York, London and Boston, it appears that a number of people share the opinion that dating in big cities is hard. In fact, an article I read previously was of the opinion that dating is hard because big cities “spoil” their men. I looked into this phenomenon further. Men living in big cities are totally spoilt for choice. In addition to the above, I recently read that there are approximately 13 women to one man in little city of Lagos. This figure spans all classes and ages. That’s A HELL OF A LOT OF WOMEN!!!!!!!! No wonder men are spoilt for choice here. 

We, as well educated Nigerian women work, look after our men, have sex with them, cook for them, clean up after them, entertain them and generally run around after them making them feel like little cuddled babies and our men provide us with nice homes to live in and Chanel bags and Louboutin shoes (not being funny dudes, I work, I can afford these myself). This is, however, potentially an ok exchange. It is a long established tradition, men bring the money and women bring the babies. The problem arises because of these niggling thirteen women to one man issue. Why would a man, who we have established is already spoiled by their city, their choices, their opportunities and their partners stop at just one woman. Potentially they can have 13!!!!! So cheating on one’s partner arises and here in Lagos, boy does it arise! It’s something we see every day, a fat, middle aged man with jeans two sizes too tight rocking up to the Lagos hot spots with a young, nubile half naked chick on his arm amidst the whispers of “but that’s not his wife sha”. As this is happening the women in this country turn a blind eye, it’s accepted and almost expected. 

Yeah I see things a little differently. My view on cheating is simple. If you would like to be with me, then be with me, when u make the decision to drop your pants for some other women, then you have made the decision to no longer be with me. Cheating is wrong, simple as that. It’s rude and its ridiculously childish. What’s even worse is the fact that so many men don’t even try to hide the cheating. They are humiliating their wives and partners by parading these little dirty girlies in the face of everyone in Lagos. Nigerian men who feel they have an entitlement to sleep with as many women as they feel like regardless of their relationship status are pigs, simple as that (and u know what pigs eat don’t you). The emergence of this state of affairs is rife and has spread through our society like a cancer. 

Here’s a radical new idea, just don’t f*****g cheat. Look at this article as a call to arms. It’s a call to arms for all my Nigerian brothers. STOP THIS MADNESS. Choose a woman, look after HER, appreciate HER and make HER feel loved. It’s up to this younger generation of men to stop the spiraling of our society into a pit of bile. Marriage as an institution has to mean something. There’s nothing cool about cheating, it doesn’t make you a big man, it makes you a loser. The men you see with their tight t-shirts, declining muscle definition and obviously mid-life crisis sports cars aren’t cute and they are not attractive. That’s where you’re all headed in a couple of years boys. Forget what was ok for our fathers and fore-fathers, make a choice and stick to it. Men of this City and Country, cheating does not make you a man, so let me leave you with this one instruction- MAN-UP!

Too many updates merged in 1

Let's see if anyone still cares to read my stories.

it's been 3 months since i last posted, i could have sworn it was longer.

so in between work, school and planning my younger sister's wedding, i was still able to squeeze in recording a radio show. my friend (Tanwa) and i had decided that we were gonna do radio and so the many nights of after-work recording began, weekends were also not exempted. we would go over scripts while we were at work and right after work, grab a can of pussy and head to the studio. wait! i really did not intend the pun when i said "pussy" and "head" in a perfectly clean and harmless statement. pussy is the actual name of an energy drink

(is this me advertising for them? just need to be sure so i can go and find them and ask for a cheque).

anyway, it was torture at the time but thinking about it now...ahhhh! fun times in the red room, meeting all the wonderful people that i did, Ikon (our producer, who also produces for syndik8 records by the way) going hard on the criticism, cringing when the recordings were played over and all that good stuff. i also met a lovely lad at the studio whom i connected very well with and found very interesting and engaging and who by the way is my boyfriend and has been for a couple of months now. so yea, i'm in a relationship and dealing with my commitment phobia.

it was a great 25 months of singlehood and i embraced it, i embraced every single day of it and i loved it. i always say that if all goes well, one spends more time being married than being single so enjoy all those moments of being single, they are very worth it.

so what happened to the other male folk that were up in my grill? well, here it goes:

YAGMMKYOD (or whatever the hell the acronym i gave him was) is nothing short of a deluded being. i gave him the "get outta here and run home to your wife" boot and suffice it to say that he was not easy to get rid of; in "the abroad" you obtain a restraining order to deal with that kind of human being.

all of the others??? i don't see them or speak to them anymore and if ever, rarely ever.

i'm so excited about my sister's wedding and it's so lovely to plan and have God 'ok' your plans. i'll definitely post wedding pictures up after the wedding.

i don't remember anymore things that i'm meant to update on, so...obladi oblada life goes on...la la la la life goes on.

cheers!

Black Forest is married & other stories

Months have passed, events have occurred, life has happened and is still happening, i'm still single and i haven't been blogging.

i've been on facebook alot more often than normal and on Sunday, i logged in as usual and BAM right there in my face is a picture of Blackforest in a suit and a girl in a white dress. it took my brain a good long second to process and interpret that my eyes were looking at a wedding picture. i rolled my eyes and logged off...well, only after i commented on the picture and said my congratulations.

now here's the thing, i'm not bothered or i don't feel like i've lost but i'm sure you all know that feeling of when an ex you don't even give a rat's arse about, or a toaster you were not even remotely interested in, or a love interest gets married. it's a feeling of 'ugh'. well, that's the only word i can find in my head to describe the feeling. then you go from that to just wondering if you were with that person, would that be you married to him/her by now??? then you just dust off the 'ugh' feeling and silly flash thought, sigh deeply and just carry on with whatever. oh well, that may not be how everyone deals with it but that was what it was like for me and it was a very alien moment as neither of my ex boyfriends have gotten married.

anyways, speaking of weddings and marriage, my baby sis is getting married...yayyyyyy! that's her and her husband to be in the picture below.


all the wedding talk, planning and shopping is getting me so giddy with excitement. gosh, can't wait for when it's my turn which by the way is December 2012. yep! i have set a wedding date, no boyfriend, no groom...wait, wait, wait, i don't want a December wedding. ok, i'm gonna have to think this through and get back to you lot on the new dates :)

the post is titled "Blackforest is married and other stories" but there doesn't seem to be any other stories so i guess my time here for today is done.

ciao
xoxo

p.s: by the way, i was on the radio a couple of Fridays ago giving my legal opinion on wills and i loved it! i may be on your air waves a lot more ;) would be sure to announce.

man of my dreams

i don't remember much but i remember that i was reluctant to get into my car and leave. i shut the car door and i went back in with him. we then played a little and laughed a lot. i remember he smiled with his eyes. i had to leave and this time as i got into the car, he asked for my number. a part of me realised that he was never gonna call, so i didn't give it to him.
i woke up this morning kinda wishing i gave him my number. but then there's no way in the world he's ever gonna call. i like the little i remember of him...i've only met him once...he was in my dream last night, our first and only meeting.

hmmmn...dreaming about men, eh? i guess it means something. and my God! i had no reservations about this one like i do about everything in trousers in real life. i don't know what this means but i take it that i'm about to find the man of my dreams.

once upon a time, i loved.

it's February in a day and ofcourse the whole valentine's shenanigan and rascality begins. actually it has begun. and this is me...the self acclaimed grinch who stole valentine's...can't be bothered...can't be arsed...not dating...not hoping...in short...YUCK!

i'm at this stage where it's all so difficult to separate the wheat from the chaff, the sheep from the goat, the boys from the men, the frogs from the princes, so why bother at all. what i mean is, there are guys who signify interest and it turns out that they are so bloody unserious and just waste your time for a month (it's even worse when it goes beyond a month).

so that's it, i'm not even bothering myself. as far as i'm concerned, every boy that comes along is the same as the last unless they can prove otherwise, and hey, they only get a month to do that. don't get me wrong, i'm not giving up...it's just that all i know about love and dating is a distant memory...once upon a time.